Monthly Archives: May 2016

So… who am I

Mostly, I agree with all of these statements. Or at least, most of the time. When someone gives you an unsolicited compliment embrace it, believe it.  #2 sounds pretty good in theory. Especially if the people in question aren’t exactly members of your fan club. In that case.. it’s none of your business. Sometimes it can be an epiphany to discover what other people think of you.

I panic a lot. It tends to zap the fun out of me.. Anxiety causes me to think too deeply at times and makes me very serious.It also makes me very timid.  But it’s not who I want to be.

Recognizing I wasn’t going to simply overcome my fears, so I could enjoy life, I  started enjoying life so I could overcome my fears. By doing the very thing that terrified me I learned the panic attack wasn’t going to kill me. It just felt like it would.

When the opportunity to attend a Polymer Clay workshop  with Christie Freisen, sponsored by WWW.BSueBoutiques.com, came up I was one of the first to register. Experience told me, if I let it go I would find a million reasons why I couldn’t do it. Heading to a place I’d never been before with a group of approximately 40 people I never met. Well. Omgosh, and now travel arrangements. Rental car. Hotel, Airline tickets.  Awww geeze.. rental car.  I hate driving a car I am unfamiliar with.  Okay, no rental. Maybe catch a ride with someone else from the airport and be beholden to a stranger. I mean, what if.   What IF whatever?  She needed to leave early and I was stranded. What if I couldn’t stand her driving and still had to get back in the car to go back? If there was any kind of concern at all I entertained it. What if I missed my flight and was stranded in a strange city?
That settled that. I was driving my self there.  Florida to Ohio?  No big deal..  20 hours.. two days.  And if I stay overnight at a hotel with a pool?  Bonus points.

Once there I was completely put at ease.  My fellow attendees  became friends by the end of the weekend. I over heard in conversation. “Oh, that’s Mary. She’s intrepid, she drove all the way here from Florida.”
Laughing out loud for real.. I thought if you only knew.. driving was the easy way out!  I was terrified to get here any other way!!

Whoa there! Replace the Negative!!  That was an unsolicited compliment. She thinks I am fearless!
Who am I to dispute that?  Just say Thank you. That’s all. Don’t question it. If I don’t tell her the reality.. she will never know I am not intrepid. That is who she sees. I am the only one who sees the panicky, shy, timid, Mary.

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This will be the third year I have attended the Annual Workshop. My third annual road trip.   I can’t wait to be intrepid again.

Be afrayedknot

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