The Messy Desk

or Not

“Your desk is a mess”  I can hear Mrs. Mulvey’s voice in my head, even after all these decades. “you need to clean your desk” was a reoccurring theme throughout my education.
As I sift throught old reportcards, reading the remarks and notes I realize I was a poster child for ADD.
“she doesnt finish her work”

” capable of much more”

“unorganized. unable to follow direction”

“unprepared for class”

“Very social and cannot focus on her work”

But this was in the mid to late 60’s.. and ADD was only beginning to be recognized on any large scale.
It wasn’t even named  until 1980.
I was considered lazy, careless, unable to follow through with a task.
But I knew I was bright. I knew I wasn’t stupid. I just didn’t know what I was.
It’s difficult to develop any self worth or confidence when you have very few success’ to build on. I took some small pride on always testing well. I was generally the first one to finish, left to daydream and fidget until the rest of the class was done.  Once I had read thru the questions and determined my answers there was no going back. I was not the child who checked and double checked my answers. I was already bored with it all.
Maintaining a job was not much easier. Waitressing was a horrible experience.  Always forgetting to bring the catchup or refill the coffee.

Factory work was downright dangerous when you have trouble with detail and focus. Particularly on a tedious, repetitive task.  My mind would be in a thousand places.
Creativity has been a blessing to me.  A wandering mind is perfect for this. Jumping from one project to another leads me down paths and opens doors into some pretty incredible places.  Just don’t ask me to finish anything. Sometimes it happens.
If you can’t get to a point in 3 sentences or less you have lost me – social settings are terrifying.  I’m not rude. I just cant keep my mind from jumping around and moving past the topic. It’s not you. Really.

I have found solace in polymer clay. A playground of possibilities. It can go where ever my mind takes me.

Oh, and my desk is still a mess. But I’m okay with that.

 

be Knotafrayed